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Title: Dog Day Afternoon
Author: goddess47
Rating: PG, for now
Warnings/Spoilers: Evil author is evil; otherwise, Post season 5
Pairing: McKay/Sheppard
Fandom: Stargate Atlantis
Disclaimer: Sadly, not mine...
Words: 1750
Prompt: At the end, it's kinda spoiler-y
Summary: "Cute?" Rodney demanded. "This is Pegasus! Don't you know by now cute can get you killed?"


NOTE: {{looks around cautiously}} Almost forgot I was supposed to do this today, so you get something of a WIP...









"Radek, I tell you this should work!" Rodney protested over the communicator.

"Rodney, I think not!" Radek replied firmly. "The previous simulations – all 47 of them -- don't come close to what you are proposing. Even if one should come close, we will need to keep running more simulations."

"I know that!" Rodney snapped. "I'm looking for the variable pattern I was working with and I'm sorry I've inconvenienced you by not uploading it to the mainframe."

Rodney entered his room, looking around at the controlled chaos.

Once the decision to return Atlantis to Pegasus from Earth had been made, the science staff had requisitioned a large amount of electronic and computing equipment including a serious number of laptops. There still were unopened cases in storage but Rodney had made sure he had his fair share of them for his use.

He had quickly found that it wasn't all that simple to figure out which laptop he had used for what project, so he had rigged up a variation on a RFID sensor on each. Whenever Rodney used a computer, he sent a short message back to his central server and it served as a database for the content.

Rodney was particularly smug about the way he could then use the central database to tell him where he had left the laptop so that he wouldn't have to remember where each was. Pinging the central database revealed that the laptop he wanted was in his room.

Looking around, Rodney was glad he had fine-tuned the laptops to identify themselves at the sound of his voice. There were probably almost thirty laptops strewn around the room, some up and running simulations, others on shelves and several on the floor since he had run out of flat space to put them on.

"Bravo Echo Three Seven," Rodney called clearly and firmly.

A laptop beeped and Rodney looked around. He moved further into the room.

"Bravo Echo Three Seven," Rodney repeated. Another beep and... "There you are!" It was one of the laptops on the floor near the window.

Deciding it was just as easy to upload the data from where he was, Rodney moved the laptop from the desk and sat down. It was work of only a few minutes to transfer the information they needed,

"Radek?" Rodney called over the comm. "I've uploaded the data we need."

"Rodney, I am at lunch," Radek replied. "It can wait until I get back."

"Radek!" Rodney protested in dismay.

"Come to lunch," Radek invited. "They have grilled cheese today."

Rodney hesitated.

"And tomato soup," John suddenly put in. Rodney knew John listened on multiple channels and frequently listened to whatever channel Rodney was on. Rodney had found it charming but had resisted saying anything.

"With the cheddar goldfish?" Rodney asked.

"With the cheddar goldfish," John promised.

"All right, then," Rodney pretended to give in reluctantly. "Be there in ten."

"I'll save you some," John replied.

Rodney finished up what he needed, sent the updated message about his computer activity to the central database and shut down the laptop. He left it on the table since he didn't know which one he would want next and he could call whatever he needed when he needed it.

The door chimed while Rodney was in the bathroom. He knew John and Radek were already in the mess and was puzzled as to who would be at the door. He and John mostly hung out in John's room once John had gotten a look at the electronic booby trap that Rodney's room had turned into.

"Coming!" Rodney called.

Rodney opened the door and----

"Intruder alert!" he called on the comm as he slammed the door shut and backed away from it.

"Rodney? What?" John demanded. Rodney could hear running feet in the background.

"There's... something outside my door," Rodney reported. "It's... I didn't recognize it but it's not a person. Something... not as big as a person but large."

"Are you safe?" John demanded.

"I've closed and locked the door and I'm in my room," Rodney answered.

He could hear John organizing a squad of Marines to the corridor near Rodney's room.

"Is it still there?" John asked.

"How should I know?" Rodney shot back.

"Don't you have an LSD in that mess of stuff you have?" John asked patiently.

"Oh, right," Rodney looked around. He didn't have one tied to his voice like the computers and he had to find it. There! Rodney grabbed it and scanned the door.

"There's.... something," Rodney reported. "It's not human and not Wraith but... I can't tell what it is."

Radek's voice broke in. "Scanning city. I can see your intruder and Atlantis has identified it as not hostile."

"Not hostile?" Rodney heard his voice rise a couple of octaves.

"Okay, Rodney," John reported. "We've sealed off your corridor and we're starting to approach your door."

"I've sealed off the area around you, Colonel," Radek reported. "Whatever it is can't easily get out."

"Careful," Rodney said softly.

"Okay, let's move," John ordered.

Rodney remained silent to allow the soldiers to concentrate on capturing whatever it was out there.

"It's not moving, sir," a voice reported. "Just holding position in front of Dr. McKay's door."

"Does it look hostile?" John asked.

"It's, well, kinda cute," another voice answered.

"Cute?" Rodney demanded. "This is Pegasus! Don't you know by now cute can get you killed?"

"It's not doing anything but standing in front of the door," The first voice reported. "What should we do, sir?"

"Let's see if we can capture it," John decided. "It actually hasn't done anything."

"How should we do this?" the second voice asked.

"Stun it and we'll take it to a holding cell," John ordered.

A small flurry of noise and a few minutes later Rodney's door opened.

"It's safe to come out now," John called.

Rodney eased toward the door. "What... what was it?" he asked.

"Dunno, yet," John answered. "Once we stunned it, it fell over and didn't move. So they're taking it to a holding cell until we can figure out what it is and where it came from." John looked closely at Rodney. "You okay?"

Rodney nodded. "More startled than anything."

"Come on, we can see what it is," John suggested,

The Marines had just backed out of the holding cell when he and John arrived.

"Any problems?" John asked.

"None, sir," Sargent Bending reported. "It's still unconscious and has not moved."

Rodney went up to the barrier of the cage to look at the... thing on the floor. It wasn't clothed, it seemed to have fur or hair. The fur was reddish in color and covered the entire... creature. Rodney decided it must be animal rather than human.

Radek came up at that point, bringing a laptop.

Rodney turned and asked, "What did you find?"

"The database identified it as a xyricka," Radek read from the screen. "It's an animal, quadraped, mammalian and with fur. There's an entry about training the xyricka that looks rather lengthy."

"Is it dangerous?" John demanded.

Radek grinned. "The Ancients considered them... companions."

"Pets?" Rodney asked, in consternation.

"Essentially," Radek agreed. He scrolled down the page. "Oh. Here. They are cloned in a lab... we have to look there. But, they bond to an owner for life." More scrolling. "Huh. They seem to be pretty long lived."

"Bonded?" Rodney asked in some horror.

"Yes," Radek said, reading closely. "They seem to live out the life of their owner and die when their owner does."

John looked at the animal and then at Rodney. "You have a dog!"

"What!" Rodney exclaimed. "I certainly do not!"

"Bonded. Means they are loyal," John elaborated. "I'm jealous. You have a dog!"

Rodney looked at the mass of fur in the cage.

"What am I supposed to do with it?" he asked.

Radek tapped on his computer. "Sending information to your email," he said. "Anything else?"

"What do I do with it?" Rodney repeated.

"Let's leave it in the cell for the moment," John suggested. "You can read up on what needs to be done and then we can meet, well, how about after dinner? We can decide then."

"Okay," Rodney conceded. He looked up, "Hey! Did I miss lunch?"

John laughed. "Sorry, yes," he said. "Didn't even get to save you any goldfish."

Rodney sighed. "Next time," he said.

John put a hand on Rodney's arm, Rodney savored the warmth. "See you at dinner," John said.

Rodney went back to his lab and opened the email Radek had sent him.

An hour later, Rodney sat back. "Fuck, I have a dog," he muttered to himself. He put the entire matter aside for the moment and went back to the simulations they had been running.

At dinner, he sat next to John, who asked, "So?"

"I have a dog," Rodney admitted. Rodney watched a fleeting look flash across John's face. "I guess I have to do something with it," Rodney said. "Come and help me?"

John shrugged easily, "Sure."

"It's what Radek said," Rodney said. "A pet, essentially, usually bonded with children so they grow up together and live their lives together. Omnivorous, genderless – which is wrong somehow, and can be trained to perform simple tasks."

"Everyone will want one," John commented.

"We've turned off the lab that makes them for now, until we see how it works out," Rodney said. "We can see about creating more on a controlled basis."

"Makes sense," John admitted.

They went to the holding cell where the animal was waiting patiently. It perked up at the site of Rodney but waited.

"What are you going to name it?" John asked.

"Well," Rodney hesitated. "I was thinking of Garkbit. Well, Gark is probably easier."

"Good one," John commented. He signals to the Marine on duty, "Open the door."

Rodney moved to the door and Gark sat patiently but alert. "Bonded, eh?" he asked.

The animal gave a grunt that could have been a confirmation. Rodney squatted down, "Guess we're stuck with each other."

Gark moved closer to Rodney and put his head on Rodney's knee. Rodney tentatively scratched behind an ear and Gark plastered himself against Rodney.

"Let's get you home," Rodney said. He stood and looked at John. "Any problem with that?"

"Well, I'm not happy about you taking an unknown animal on your own in your room," John said.

"If it'll make you feel better, you can sleep on my couch," Rodney offered.

John was tempted. He looked at the harmless looking animal next to Rodney and gave in to his personal wants. "Sure," he said. "Let me grab some things."

"We can see how he does," Rodney countered. "We'll come with you."





Prompt: This has been brewing for over a year now and you'd think there'd be an ending. The prompt comes from kensieg who, at Squee Weekend 2, had a bunny about Rodney doing something in a lab that resulted in some type of animal coming to him. And then some McShep-y things happening also. Well, I got the first part and will owe you the rest.

Note 2: "Garkbit" comes from Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (reference here
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